With the Griffith Observatory Championship, the 2nd half of the 2013 season officially began…
June…
Clint Crump ended a 2½ year drought when he won the Griffith Observatory Championship. After flirting with a sub-50 round the past 3 years, Crump shot a career-best 49, and collected his first Astronomers Monument Trophy.
1. Crump
2. Moawad
T3. Vaughan
T3. Quiroz
“What guys are you talking about? Oh, you mean those girls? They don’t have any sticks to pull out in the first place.”
-John Frost, when asked if playing with a driver at The Players Championship gave him an advantage over those who didn’t play in Las Vegas.
“Being called a favorite is detrimental to my playing ability. Now that I’m a favorite it’s just like, what is there to play for.”
-Defending champion Travois Gordón on finishing last
“It could have been so much better. I had a whiff on the first hole, I lost a ball on the 2nd hole. It just started out in tragedy. It was just a nightmare, the whole round. I lipped, literally four holes that [my putt] went no more than 6 inches past [the cup]. It was just a horrible day.”
-Patrick Bird
“I detect a pattern, so next year I should be right up there at the top.”
-2010 and 2012 winner Travois Gordón who finished last
“My dad came out. He kinda told me I was doing everything wrong.”
-Clint Crump, following his win, on his improved game.
Easy win for such a high caliber of golfer such as Clint – seriously? an 11 handicap?
As said by Crump on the site: “With such a huge and clearly out of line handicap [I’ll] play it safe, maybe break 50”.
I feel bad for Moawad whom actually played a great game.
Signed, John “the guy who’s never had a higher handicap than Crump – EVER” Frost
“For me this is a test of endurance. If you notice, my scorecard just dies the last 3 holes.”
-Doug Vargas who carded two 8’s on his last 4 holes.
“All I needed to do was bogey the last 3 holes, I could have won this thing. Two 8’s the last 4 holes, it’s just a total mental and physical collapse. I was serious. I thought I had a great chance of winning. I started gangbusters. I don’t know if it’s a mental thing, but this course kicks my ass. It whips me in the ass the last 3-4 holes. It buried me again today.”
-Doug Vargas, who was just +4 thru 5, but +9 over the final 4 holes.
“He’s over tired, he’s over worked. All the signs point to this being something where that could be the case.”
-Patrick Bird on Doug’s history of fading the 2nd half of the season.
July 9…
Gerry Vaughan and John Frost were the bright stars at the nighttime Masters Qualifier. For Vaughan it was a redemptive performance after missing the cut the previous year, while Frost played – and qualified – despite the fact he wouldn’t be able to make the date of The Masters.
“When the sun goes down and we’re out there battling on the course in the darkness, Clint’s daddy and an overblown handicap won’t be there to help him. His daddy will be a thousand miles away, while his son is getting pummeled by the MGM’s unwanted street-hardened hooligans…and he won’t be able to do a thing about it. Maybe I should have said, “When the SON goes down” in that first sentence. And just a heads up for the rest of you guys; that guy huddled in the corner by the snack bar murmuring “Papa?…Papa?” after the round will be Clint. Somebody buy him a coke.”
-Patrick Bird
“Well, it’s just more bonding time with my fellow golfers. I get to know them a little bit better as human beings, and they’re missing out on that.”
-Travois Gordón on how former Masters winners don’t have to play the Qualifier while he and the others still have to go through the rigors of playing it.
“Bird’s here. Shocker. He’s pissed.”
-Gerry Vaughan coming back from the parking lot.
“Only if John and Bird keep score in the group.”
-Clint Crump when asked if he was feeling any pressure to qualify
“I do love this tournament but it is a lot tougher than people think. AND, people have been playing it a lot better.”
-Gerry Vaughan on the Qualifier.
“Well, we don’t know that I won’t be able to play. I think that I can start a revolt against the Sunday [date] and try to get the Saturday [date] in, and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I wouldn’t be here to just foil Bird’s plans, Crump’s plans, and Gerry’s.”
-John Frost on playing the Qualifier when he won’t be able to play The Masters should he qualify. Frost would tie for best score of the night.
“Come on. You always ask me those kinds of questions and you know I have no reaction.”
-Gerry Vaughan on qualifying for The Masters. Vaughan’s round, which tied for best score, was highlighted by his chip-in for par on 8.
“Yea, I’m really surprised Gerry played as well as he did because I was pretty dominant out there. So good for Gerry to pick up his game to match mine. I’m glad for him.”
-John Frost on he and Gerry Vaughan shooting the best scores of the Qualifier.
“I played crappy. I sucked out there. You know, what are you gonna do? I don’t deserve to be out there.”
-Rene Quiroz on missing the cut by 1 stroke. Quiroz had won the Qualifier a year ago.
“I’ll personally buy lunch/snacks/drinks/beers (whatever you all want) for everyone between the 9th and 10th holes, to show my gratitude [if you guys switch the date of The Masters].”
-John Frost who qualified for, but won’t be able to play The Masters.
“Yea, the sweat, be pissed, waste a whole Sunday. It’s gonna be miserable.”
-Gerry Vaughan when told he was going to The Masters.
Whether it’s bad luck, John Frost, or out of town guests, obstacles seem to always find their way to Clint Crump’s path to The Masters. 2013 was no different, only this time it came in the form of a fatty cyst in his neck…
“Did Clint have a twin fused in his neck for 40 years??! I see the spine and some fingers!!?”
-Walter Vargas
“Wait a minute, Clint got his head removed!???
–Patrick Bird
“I think it should be molded into a Willy J Promotions trophy.”
-Gerry Vaughan
“Looks like Flamin Hot Cheetos.”
–Chris Moawad
July…
Written off as having a chance to win a tournament in the 2nd half of the season, Armen Grigorian proved the naysayers wrong, winning The Masters. It was his first win at Scholl Canyon since the inaugural edition 8 years ago. For the 2nd straight year, 18 holes were not enough to decide the winner. Grigorian (who had to be summoned back as he loaded his clubs into his car) faced Chris Moawad who was aiming for a record 3rd Masters title. Between Grigorian’s 2 Masters wins the Tour has witnessed 7 marriages, 12 births, 3 divorces, and 9 golfers came and left.
1. Grigorian
2. Moawad
3. W. Vargas
“Um… [Commissioner]?! Where’s my handicap? I didn’t see it on the website. Seeing that I haven’t won a Tournament in 2 years I thought my play would reflect in the handicap I received?! Can you please update my handicap on the website? Thanks bro.”
-Walter Vargas on his zero handicap
“Holy crap Walter! Two whole years!!??? God be with you during this traumatic time my friend. If you need to talk, I’m a decent listener and I just went through a five year victory drought, so I know all about the suicidal feelings you are having right now. Don’t worry, as long as you keep losing, the handicaps will catch up to you eventually and then you’ll have that miracle day when you play waaay above your ability and pull one out. That’s how I got out of my slump. Good luck failing at the Masters!”
-Patrick Bird
“At least they’re not vultures. We know what that would mean.”
-Tim Joe to Doug Vargas prior to the round after Vargas expressed irritation with gnats flying around him.
“Now we’re on to the real party.”
-Armen Grigorian walking off the 11th hole, ready to make the trip to the top of the hill.
“I had nightmares the last 2 weeks about this hole. I’m glad it’s over.”
-Armen Grigorian after landing his tee shot on the 14th, the par-3 island hole.
“I told Chris this is the ugliest tie-breaker hole ever played collectively between 2 guys.”
-Armen Grigorian, following the sudden death playoff, in which both golfers struggled to reach the green.
“I think after 4 years we should take Stolz’s name off.”
-Walter Vargas looking at the names engraved on the Masters trophy
“The back-9 is the Devil’s playground and it’s the portal to hell. If you want to know what purgatory is like, go play it.”
-Armen Grigorian, whose back-9 collapse nearly lost him The Masters.
“They were smart not to allow me to play.”
-John Frost
“God, he didn’t win Wimbeldon.”
-A disgusted Doug Vargas after Grigorian was asked to raise the trophy over his head.
Armen Grigorian not only won his 2nd tournament in a row, he successfully defended his Devil Ball Shootout title, becoming the first repeat champion since Patrick Bird’s back-to-back wins in ’07-‘08. Despite poor play in the Devil Ball portion – he lost 2 Devil Balls – Grigorian’s fortunes totally reversed in the individual play portion where finished 3 strokes clear of John Mann. The victory was the 20th of his career.
1. Grigorian
2. Mann
3. W. Vargas
“It’s probably going to make its way to the garage. It had its year in the house,
it’s going to go in the garage now.”
–Armen Grigorian on winning the Devil Ball trophy for a second year in a row and having to bring it back home to his wife.
“So basically, to make any real headway in POY points, I have to beat PJ and Moawad straight up for the last six holes? I might be better off tanking our whole team in the scramble round and letting Grigore and Walter edge up. Just sayin’.”
–Patrick Bird
“Circus Circus seems appropriate for their team of clowns.”
-Patrick Bird on Grigorian, Mann, Witt, and W. Vargas of Team Circus Circus
“The curse of the Devil Ball. It has the extra layer of mind fuck on it.”
-Chris Moawad after teammate P-Jay Fidler, playing Devil Ball, hit another bad shot.
“I’ll be the first to admit it, I pretty much announced my retirement AGAIN on the 12th hole. That’s probably what I’m going to do every tournament, I’m just going to announce my retirement and it seems to work out.”
-Armen Grigorian on winning despite his struggles with the Devil Ball. Grigorian nearly “retired” while struggling in the Masters before pulling out the win.
Marty Witt, struggling on the final hole: “Are there any max’s on the holes?”
John Mann: No. Keep doing it.
September…
Walter Vargas’s 5th win at the Survivor tied the Tour record (Armen Grigorian, Match Play Invitational) for most victories in any one tournament. Vargas ended a 21-month, 14-tournament winless streak with the victory. It was his 4th Survivor win in 5 years.
1. W. Vargas
2. Frost
3. D. Vargas
“That’s scary right there.”
-Doug Vargas on his putt on the 1st hole that had him avoid dropping into a playoff
“I think one of the reasons [Walter] may win a little more than others is in part because of his skill, but really not so much skill as just the way he hits the ball, which it always sort of line drives. His skill set is suited for this course.”
-Patrick Bird on Walter Vargas’s success at the Survivor Challenge
“Wally loves these gross little courses because his game sucks. His game is ugly.
This is ugly golf to win this.”
-Doug Vargas
“My muscle memory says this is about the time we hug you.”
-John Mann to Patrick Bird following Bird’s elimination
“I need a Zanex.”
-Chris Moawad after surviving a playoff with Tim Joe and John Mann on the 3rd hole
Controversy arose on the 4th hole when it was questioned whether or not Clint Crump’s tee shot left the course before an eldery woman picked up his ball and threw it back (twice). Without a definitive judgement Crump avoided a 2 stroke OB penalty.
“It was definitely [inside the course]. John Frost, the most honorable guy on the Tour said it was. And he asked her.”
-Clint Crump
“The only competition left is me and Walter.”
–John Frost at the midway point of the tournament
“Done-ski, it is over. There is no recovery from that.”
–Doug Vargas after John Mann’s tee shot in the playoff shanked into the bushes.
“Good game. You didn’t deserve to be [in the Final] anyway.”
–John Frost to a just eliminated Doug Vargas
“I dread getting up [early] coming to this tournament because you can be the first one out.”
–Doug Vargas, who finished a career best 3rd.
“Yea I did. Yea, pretty confident.”
–John Frost, after making it to the final hole, when asked if he thought he would make it this far
“I thought he had me [with that tee shot]. For him to go first and stick it like that
was really big of him.”
–Walter Vargas on playing John Frost on the final hole for the 2nd time in the last 3 years.
“I really wanted to dethrone Wally.”
–Doug Vargas, who finished 3rd.
“I had dinner at Terranea last night… I think it motivated me to make a return visit!”
–Walter Vargas following his win
“It is always an honor to bring home an MGM Grand Tour trophy. I had to clean the dust and rat shit off of this trophy [Chris left] and present it for all to see off my balcony. AHHHHHH….. It feels good to be back on top!”
-Walter Vargas
October…
Vista Valencia welcomed the MGM Tour for the first time, hosting this year’s Tour Championship. Chris Moawad waited until the final 9 holes of the 2013 season to win his first tournament of the year. Following a closely contested front-9, Moawad dropped the field with a 6-par, 11-stroke improvement on the back 9. It was Moawad’s Tour record 4th Tour Championship victory, and record-tying 7th Major.
1. Moawad
2. W. Vargas
T3. Fidler
T3. T. Joe
“I’ll be there … just finalizing my flight on Orbitz.”
-Chris Moawad confirming for the Tour Championship in Valencia
“Valencia. Is that near Sacramento? Are we chartering a bus?”
-Gerry Vaughan
“It took me Pink Floyd’s the Wall album and Lynard Skynard’s Free Bird, the live version.”
-Huntington Beach resident Chris Moawad, on his long drive to Valencia for the Tour Championship.
“He said he worked till 12? And he can’t get up for golf? Fuck, I leave work at 3 and go to work at 8 AM. How does he not make golf? He’s a different golfer now. Armen’s fallen by the wayside. Armen’s married.”
-Doug Vargas on Tour charter member Armen Grigorian’s withdrawal from the Tour Championship.
“He’s probably lying in bed, rubbing his wife’s back and saying, ‘What should I tell them this time?’”
-PJay Fidler on Armen Grigorian’s withdrawal
“We have to give him shit. When he was single he gave us all so much crap and now he’s the worst offender.”
-Walter Vargas on Armen Grigorian’s withdrawal
“Some people are soft, some people aren’t. Some people step up when shit needs to get done, some don’t. I’m still hard. I’m a single man. I have to survive every day on my own. There’s other people on Tour, who maybe are a little soft, [they’re in] a nice warm bed, got a chick laying next to them, and when it’s gut-check time, sometimes they don’t check the gut.”
-Patrick Bird, who worked until 1:30 only to return home to an on-going party, on making it to the Tour Championship.
“I don’t like to do it this way but it worked out today.”
-Chris Moawad on getting his first win of the season in the last tournament.
“I love the Majors.”
-Chris Moawad on winning his record-tying 7th career Major.
In winning his record 4th Tour Championship Chris Moawad also won Player of the Year for a record 3rd time, and became the first repeat winner of the award since 2005-06 (Patrick Bird). Doug Vargas, who had been the Tour’s #1 player the majority of the season, suffered a painful dose of déjà vu, losing a major award to Moawad in the final tournament of the season (in 2006, Vargas lost Rookie of the Year).
“You know what, he did it to me again. He did it to me rookie year. The worst scenario [that] had to happen, happened and he won, and same here.”
-Doug Vargas, who needed to finish 2nd in the Tour Championship if Moawad had won. Vargas finished 5th.
“I can’t look at him in the face when I think about it because it pisses me off. I really wanted another Vargas name on that trophy.”
-Walter Vargas on his brother Doug coming up short once again for Player of the Year.
“He par’d 6 holes on the back-9 to win. [He] totally deserved it. I feel no pain [but] I will tonight.”
-Doug Vargas on losing Player of the Year to Chris Moawad. Vargas, who has never won Player of the Year, finished 2nd for the 4th time.
“He’s the first loser. 2nd place is the first place loser.”
-Walter Vargas on his brother losing Player of the Year
Moawad, the first Tour Champion to win Player of the Year in the same season.
“Another successful year of golf, amigo-ship and farting in each others drinks while backs are turned. And another fine season of me losing every tournament. Who’s up for bowling?”
-Martin Witt
December…
Gorgeous conditions at Terranea once again welcomed the exclusive field at the Tournament of Champions. A year after failing to qualify Walter Vargas returned to win his 2nd Tournament of Champions and set a new record low score in the process. Patrick Bird, set to play in his first TOC in 5 years and first at Terranea, suffered the same bizarre misfortune Gerry Vaughan faced in 2009 when a traffic accident roadblock, less than a mile from the course, prevented him from making his tee time.
1. W. Vargas
2. Moawad
3. Grigorian
“Every time I drive here I keep thinking about wanting to come back every year. It’s one of my biggest motivations, to win a tournament, not only to get more under my belt,
but to get back here to the tournament at Terranea.”
-Walter Vargas on being back at the Tournament of Champions after not qualifying last year.
“It’s too pretty out here to not strive to be here.
It’s really a privilege that can’t be taken for granted.”
-Armen Grigorian on the Tournament of Champions
“No show. No call. No respect. No class.”
-John Frost on Doug Vargas’s no-show at the Tournament of Champions
“No F’n way. It’s the [Palos Verdes Dr.] jinx. Maybe [the Tour] should mail out a warning to the peninsula community for the next tournament to go on walks or [not] drive until all players have arrived.”
-Gerry Vaughan after hearing Patrick Bird suffered the same misfortune he faced in 2009 when a traffic accident detour prevented him making his tee time.
“This is the prettiest course that I hate.”
-Clint Crump
“Thanks for the reads.”
-Walter Vargas after Armen Grigorian missed a series of short putts
“18? Who’s been keeping score?”
-John Frost, when told Walter Vargas’s score after 5 holes.
“Can you get some good action shots of me for my online dating profile?”
-Walter Vargas
“Disrespectful. He had so many good wins at the beginning of the year and I thought he’d be proud to come out here. To not contact anyone is a slap in the face to me, so I had to make the Vargas name proud still, by breaking the record.”
-Walter Vargas, who set a new Tournament of Champions record low score, on his brother Doug’s no-show.
“I’m starting to feel like this is my home course winning the last two times I’ve been here.”
-Walter Vargas
2013 Season Birdie Club
Patrick Bird (3) – MBC, Charly (two)
Doug Vargas (2) – Griffith, TPC
Chris Moawad – MBC
Walter Vargas – TPC
Travois Gordón – The Masters
Armen Grigorian – Devil Ball
Tim Joe – Tour Championship
Clint Crump – Tournament of Champions
A Review and Salute to the Champions of 2013:
Manhattan Beach Championship: Doug VARGAS
Charly Invitational: Patrick BIRD
Hooters Team Play: Patrick BIRD/John FROST
Match Play Invitational: Doug VARGAS
The Players Championship: Doug VARGAS
Griffith Observatory Championship: Clint CRUMP
The Masters: Armen GRIGORIAN
Devil Ball Shootout: Armen GRIGORIAN
Survivor Challenge: Walter VARGAS
Tour Championship: Chris MOAWAD
Tournament of Champions: Walter VARGAS
QUOTE COUNT
Bird, 30
Frost, 28
Doug, 24
Walter, 23
Gerry, 18
Armen, 12
Marty, 11
Travois, 11
Chris, 10
Clint, 10
P-Jay, 7
Stolzy, 6
Rene, 3
Mann, 2
Tim, 2
The MGM GRAND TOUR will return January 2014