“Just fair warning, I’ll be winning my 3rd Player of the Year trophy this year. One side note…may we have a moment of silence for Huell Howser at our opening ceremonies? I think that would be nice seeing as how many of us were big fans.”
–Patrick Bird on the eve of the 2013 season
January…
In just his 2nd tournament in 8 months (he was sidelined by an injured knee) Doug Vargas became the Manhattan Beach Championship’s first 2-time winner. It was his 2nd win in the season opener in the past 3 years.
1. D. Vargas
2. Moawad
T3. Bird
T3. Mann
“Shouldn’t you be at the Palm Springs tournament? The tournament
for gays is 200 miles that way.”
-Gerry Vaughan to Tim Joe after seeing Joe’s golf shirt.
“[I have to deal with] my knee and the rust. This will be the worst round of the year for me,
and if I win it, wholly shit.”
-Doug Vargas dispelling any type of advantage he would have being a former champion at Manhattan Beach.
“You’re not letting it go are you?”
-Doug Vargas on repeated questions regarding his 3 runner-up finishes for Player of the Year.
“How mad do you think [the commissioner] will be if I just left right now.”
-Gerry Vaughan following his 9 on the 4th hole.
“No, that was me throwing everything I had.”
-Armen Grigorian who threw his ball and club in frustration after a startled Chris Moawad asked, “Was that someone’s ball that just landed?”
“I’ve got so much chili between my cheeks, I can’t wait to wipe.”
-Doug Vargas
“I’ve got more power in my urine stream than in my golf swing.”
-Martin Witt
“It feels fantastic, it feels awesome! Totally worth all the yelling my wife just gave me on the phone, totally worth it!”
-Doug Vargas on his win
“Well since that quote, I think little brother has been dominating big bro. 🙁 ”
–Doug Vargas’s response to Tim Joe who, following John Harbaugh’s Super Bowl win over younger brother Jim, reminded Vargas that the older Vargas once said after defeating younger brother Walter, “older brother always beats younger brother.”
February…
The 10th edition of the Charly Invitational proved tournaments are decided not on paper, but on the course. With 6 handicap strokes on Chris Moawad, former 3-time champion Clint Crump looked to have a 4th win in the bag. Crump would implode, defending champion Moawad failed to win, and Patrick Bird would overcome a 4 stroke deficit with 3 holes to play to win his first tournament in 5 years.
1. Bird
2. T. Joe
T3. Moawad
T3. Frost
“Wow! Is this Frost’s way of finally winning his daughter’s tournament? Make everyone believe he was available for the original date, then move it to where no one will show?”
-Travois Gordón
“Three down already? Victory just gets closer and closer. You guys are just making this too easy.”
-Patrick Bird’s response to the first group of withdrawals for the Charly.
“At this rate, what’s the point? Does anyone really want to “win” with over a third of the field missing?”
-Travois Gordón following the dizzying amount of withdrawals to the 2013 Charly Invt’l. In all, half the field would withdraw from the tournament.
“2009-2011? Just keep living in the past boys. The rest of us will take care of the future.”
-Patrick Bird’s response to former champions Travois Gordón and Gerry Vaughan who had to withdraw.
“I’m blessed to be able to manipulate the situation a little bit because it is [my daughter’s tournament], so I’ll do what I have to do. It’s just unfortunate Chris Moawad showed up today.”
-John Frost on the change of dates that ultimately reduced the field to just 7 golfers.
“If Moawad loses he should retire from the Tour.”
-Travois Gordón on the small field that did not have Grigorian and the Vargas brothers.
“It’s snowing and 29 here, and I need to go out and chop wood.”
-Eric Stolz from Tennessee when told temps were in the upper 70’s and sunny skies during the mini golf portion.
“Me and Clint are gonna go to the Dennys over here while you guys putt. Their service is really slow so we should be good.”
-John Frost, who finished his mini golf round, flabbergasted at the time it was taking Fidler, Bird, Joe, and Witt to finish theirs.
“That’s the peronis of golf.”
-Martin Witt after Patrick Bird’s putt curved to the left and in the hole.
“Double your penis.”
-Patrick Bird to Martin Witt after Witt asked how far 6 inches from the curb was to place his ball during miniature golf.
“You actually ever keep track of your score Witt?”
-Patrick Bird, keeping score, after Witt gave his score in unconvincing fashion
“I [didn’t need them to win last year], and then this year I feel like I need them and I don’t have them.”
-Chris Moawad who had 3 bonus strokes last year but none this year.
“That’s still [not a lot] because he’s such a good player, especially on short format courses. He’s just deadly, so in my mind he’s still the favorite.”
-Clint Crump on his 3 extra bonus strokes (plus his 3 hcp) against Chris Moawad.
“It’s kind of a sad statement that there are some, what usually would be big names that are not here today, but I think it’s a great opportunity for the rest of us to shine and show what we got. It’s their loss.”
-Patrick Bird prior to the start of the Whitsett round with half the field missing.
“What are you so nervous about? You’ve got 6 strokes [on Moawad].”
-Tim Joe after Clint Crump accidently knocked over Martin Witt’s energy drink, as the first group waited their turn to tee off.
“I don’t think my counter’s gonna go this high.”
-Clint Crump during his implosion on the 7th hole. Crump would finish with an 11.
“It was terrible. I thought about just picking up the ball and throwing it at one point.”
-Clint Crump on what it was like knowing, with no cap, he had to finish out no matter what.
“It’s not hollow at all. Those guys weren’t here. They made that choice. They made that decision. If they wanted it bad enough, they could’ve been here. They could’ve played. They lost when they forfeited. What are you gonna do? And I know I could beat all those guys. Doesn’t worry me one bit.”
-Patrick Bird on how he would respond to the likes of Walter Vargas and former champions Travois Gordón and Gerry Vaughan, who might deem his win a hollow victory because of their absence.
Patrick Bird’s win, his first in 5 years, ended the Tour’s current longest winless streak at 33 tournaments…
“Wow! What a surprise! Who would’ve thought?! Nobody in their right mind
would have thought he would’ve won.”
-John Frost
“The Bird flying high again!
-Armen Grigorian
“No way!! Bird is back!!!”
-Doug Vargas
“Unbelievable.”
-Gerry Vaughan
“Congrats Bird!! Jesus, Clint! Looks like you should have stayed home as well.”
-Travois Gordón
“Suck it Bird! I hope you get an STD.”
-Rene Quiroz
“It’s never in the bag with this group. One errant shot, then everything’s gone downhill.”
-Clint Crump on how long this loss will stay with him. With 6 strokes on Moawad, it seemed it was his tournament to lose.
“WTF??! Are we just chopped liver??”
-Long Beach area resident Walter Vargas on the Tour’s reversal of plans to have the Hooters played in Long Beach.
“We’re just the forgotten drops of never-mind on the floor of the Pussycat Theater.”
-Long Beach area resident Martin Witt
March…
3 years after a dramatic finish at “Little” DeBell, the 10th edition of the Hooters Team Play Championship returned to Burbank and witnessed another fantastic finish. John Frost’s jaw-dropping 15-foot winning putt on the 2nd hole of sudden death earned him his 3rd Hooters win in the past 6 years, and partner Patrick Bird’s 2nd Hooters, 7 years after his first. Runner-ups Travois Gordón and Walter Vargas came achingly close to victory with Vargas missing a short putt on the first playoff hole. Patrick Bird’s victory, his 2nd win in a row for the season, marked the Tour’s first 2-tournament winning streak in 4 years. Both Armen Grigorian and Doug Vargas would produce 2-tournament winning streaks later in 2013.
1. Frost/Bird
2. Gordón/W. Vargas
T3. Crump/Clemente
T3. Vaughan/Fidler
“Well, after last month’s performance it seems like it’s only my 2nd tournament.”
-Clint Crump when told he was playing in the 70th tournament of his career.
“Shows you how much he respects the Tour and all the guys here. It’s horrible. He’s at the McDonald’s drive thru right now getting a couple of egg mcmuffins. I wish he would just get here, show the rest of the guys a little bit of class. This is a disgrace. And he’s a two-time [defending] champ going for a 3-peat? Come on, give me a break.”
-Walter Vargas on his brother’s commitment to the Tour. Still absent, the elder Vargas was well past the check-in time.
“It wasn’t before, but now I’m starting to think about it. Thanks [a lot].”
-Marty Witt when asked how much teammate Doug Vargas’s late arrival was a distraction when they’re trying to 3-peat.
“That’s because I fully expect Rene to crumble under the pressure of not wanting to let [Tim] down, and [Tim] to crumble just because [he does that when he’s] running a tournament, and [them] both to crumble because [they’ll] each be dragging the other down further as [Tim starts] to crumble.”
-Patrick Bird on not considering the team of Rene Quiroz and Tim Joe contenders.
“Two words: Pussy – Whipped.”
-Doug Vargas’s reaction upon learning that after 10 years of near perfect attendance and holding 2 of the longest consecutive tournaments played streaks, that Armen Grigorian was missing his 2nd straight tournament.
“He’s married now. I can’t blame him. After many, many years of not having female energy in his life he’s come to a place where he found this wonderful woman and he’s got time to spend with her.”
-Patrick Bird on Armen Grigorian’s withdrawal
“The only difference between those 2 years and now, last year and the year before, it was wetter outside than Gerry’s pussy. But today it’s as dry as Bird’s.”
-Martin Witt on his team not given much chance to 3-peat despite being doubted before and winning.
“All of that goes out the window during a team event. He’s my partner. I will pick him up when he’s down and I will not kick or spit on him until after the tournament.”
-Walter Vargas, when asked if a poor performance by partner Travois Gordón would cement Gordón’s standing as an adversary to Vargas.
“I feel bad for P-Jay because he’s probably thinking [he’s] coming here to win, and this is my first Saturday off in 6 weeks so I’m just glad to be not at work.”
-Gerry Vaughan on being paired with P-Jay Fidler.
“I think he’s being modest. He didn’t see the way I played at the last tournament so I think I feel sorry for him.”
-PJay Fidler on being paired with Gerry Vaughan
“Well it’s good for a guy like that to finally play with somebody who knows what they’re doing. I’m glad that he’s won the last tournament. Maybe he can actually wear his big boy pants and play with me today. I am a 2-time winner of this tournament.”
-John Frost on his pairing with Patrick Bird
“No offense to anyone, but Travois is the best partner I’ve ever had. We’re like one.”
-Walter Vargas during his round.
“Don’t let these guys get in your head because they’re gonna
stick around [to watch us].”
-Travois Gordón to Walter Vargas at the 18th tee, referring to Patrick Bird and John Frost finishing the 18th.
“Hmmm. Isn’t that ironic those guys are making fun of me saying that I have problems [keeping score] and it’s THOSE guys. And I want to note that Travis is having scoring problems AGAIN. He’s got more of a history than I do, by far. This guy is more questionable than anybody that’s out here. Maybe they should take pencils away from him.”
-John Frost on the recalculation of scores that showed Travois Gordón failed to account for a penalty stroke, thus bringing Gordón-Vargas from first outright into a tie with Frost-Bird.
“That seems to be the forte for the [past] Frost teams. They seem to snatch victory out of defeat somehow. So, you know, I think that’s a good sign.”
-Patrick Bird on the swing of emotions, thinking his team had finished in 2nd until Travois Gordón’s scoring error had them now tied for 1st. (In 2008 the team of Frost/D. Vargas were declared the winners after a scoring error by Gordón/Bird was discovered).
“No. It won’t be disappointing at all because I really don’t think we’re going to lose.”
-Walter Vargas, waiting to begin sudden death, when asked how disappointing it would be if his team did not pull out a victory to make good on his partnership with Travois Gordón, whom he had praised.
“Well, I’m just enjoying watching these guys acting like they’re not nervous. These guys are pretending that they’re not scared, shaking in their boots.”
-John Frost, on the verge of becoming a 3-time Hooters champ, asked what was going through his mind as he waited to start sudden death.
“Motherfuckers say I take a long time.”
-Marty Witt on Walter Vargas’s particularly long setup on the tee of the first hole of sudden death.
“Hooters. What am I gonna order.”
-John Frost, still catching his breath, when asked what was going through his mind following his team’s dramatic victory.
“They call him Frost for a reason. He’s got ice water in his veins.”
-Patrick Bird on teammate John Frost’s dramatic winning putt on the 2nd hole of sudden death.
“Awesome. Those two are quite a pair. They should go into business or something together. Oh wait…”
-Eric Stolz on Patrick Bird and John Frost’s victory.
“I really don’t like to play teams because I don’t like to share, but it works out alright I guess.”
-John Frost on his 3rd career Hooters win and 2nd at DeBell.
“Well today he wasn’t acting like a pussy so I liked him today. He was actually a pretty good teammate. If it wasn’t for [him] we wouldn’t have even been in sudden death.”
-John Frost, on his partner Patrick Bird whom he’s made a target throughout his career.
“Look, I’m not saying this makes up for all the fuckin tournaments in the past, but that’s what we do with each other. We spend all day, every day with each other, doing stuff, and we fuck with each other. It is what it is. I’d appreciate it if he DIDN’T do it in the future. Perhaps this will [get him to be more respectful towards me on the golf course].”
-Patrick Bird on winning with John Frost, who has cost Bird results in the past with shenanigans.
“REALLY???! A one foot putt??! And here I thought you were an honest journalist. Whatever [Willy J]. Just leave the drama as is… You know the truth.”
-Walter Vargas contesting the report that his missed putt, that cost his team the win, was a 1-footer.
“Listen, whatever Walter wants to call it to make himself feel better about his weak mental game and letting his teammate down is fine by me. It’s not like we all don’t know that he talks a big game but has trouble handling the pressure. It’s a known fact. We’ve all seen him sweat it. I think he’s lucked out a few times along the way, which has helped his confidence, but his true nature is still obvious. In my memory, it was maybe 18 inches or so from the cup, tops. The truth is, the picture clearly shows the ball practically on the lip of the cup, and judging by this photographic evidence he was an inch away from a win with a short putt and muffed it. Not to mention he short hopped the chip on the 2nd hole leaving Travois with a difficult 12-foot putt for par. Let’s face it, his head’s just not in the game anymore. He’s missing tournaments while I’m winning tournaments, and that’s all there is to it. Some stocks fall, some rise Baby. PLEEEZ let me at him in the first round [of the Match Play Invitational]…that is, if he shows up.”
-Patrick Bird on Walter Vargas contesting his missed putt for the win was a 1-footer.
April…
Marking its 10th edition, the Match Play Invitational returned to the course of its inaugural edition, Los Feliz Par-3. It seemed counterintuitive that a golfer with a natural draw shot could win on the narrow, tree-lined course, but Doug Vargas won the season’s first Major. Vargas, the last golfer to win the Match Play Invitational before Armen Grigorian’s 3-year reign, defeated P-Jay Fidler in the Finals (he also defeated Grigorian for the first time in his career). It was Fidler’s first Finals appearance.
1. D. Vargas
2. Fidler
T3. Vaughan
T3. Crump
“Was taking a shit in the stall at the range and an old guy walked in and was talking to himself while taking a piss… and I quote…
‘Where is that damn thing? Oh, there it is. You need to be bigger.’”
-Patrick Bird
“What’s up with the 9 seed? Holy FUCK! Disrespectful, very disrespectful.”
-Doug Vargas, who had never before been lower than a 3 seed, on being seeded 9th. Vargas would go on to win his 2nd Match Play title.
“I’d be insulted too if I were a 9, but you know what, if the shoe fits.”
-Walter Vargas on his brother saying he was insulted at being a 9 seed.
“I am, but I’m surprised Bird is a 6 seed.”
-Armen Grigorian when asked if he was surprised Doug Vargas was a 9 seed.
“I doubt you need to be worrying about playing on Sunday, Walter. Enjoy the ball game, we’ll let you know how it went!!”
-Patrick Bird to Walter Vargas who said Sunday traffic to the golf course would be hell due to the Dodger game. Vargas would be eliminated Saturday in his match against Gerry Vaughan.
“What does that mean?”
-P-Jay Fidler when told that with his win at the 2012 Tour Championship, he had received the #3 seed, the highest of his career.
“I’ve been more concerned with the happiness that Bird’s been experiencing. He’s really been gloating and happy [after his 2 straight wins]. It really concerns me seeing him this happy. I just hope that it ends soon.”
-Gerry Vaughan when asked his thoughts on facing former 2-time champion Jo Clemente in the first round.
“There’s a lot of partying involved [the night before] and you forget you’ve got to play the next day, or you’re hung-over. But I’m fine this time. I got the in-laws in town, so I’m gonna wanna get out of the house and come play.”
-P-Jay Fidler on his sketchy track record at the MGM Match Play Invitational, a 1-7 record with 3 forfeit losses.
“I would hate to be John Mann, because that’s going to be a blowout.”
-Doug Vargas prior to his 1st round match. Vargas would go on to defeat Mann 3and2.
“You’re a liar! You’re fucking lying. You know not to do that.”
-John Frost to Patrick Bird who said he did not know pulling the flag was not allowed during Frost’s approach to the green. Frost contended that had Bird not pulled the pin, his fast-moving shot would have hit the pin and gone in.
“I thought they were going to go to blows.”
-P-Jay Fidler on Frost and Bird’s argument
“Bird’s used to pulling out early.”
-Travois Gordón after John Frost complained Patrick Bird had pulled the flag out too soon.
“He’s trying to get in my head with a clicker or something, but you know us sound guys, we can easily tune out loops and weird sounds.”
-Patrick Bird on P-Jay Fidler’s hand-held golf stroke counter
“What is it about this tournament that Gerry comes to play? All the other ones he sucks at.”
-Travois Gordón commenting on Vaughan’s strong play early in the tournament.
“I might as well hold a baseball bat. I don’t trust what [my club’s] going to do.”
-A struggling Armen Grigorian on the 3rd hole, already 2-down to Doug Vargas
“Finally got over the hump. [I was] totally motivated by the seeding, the poor, poor seeding, [from] the blind motherfucking commissioner.”
-Doug Vargas on defeating Armen Grigorian for the first time in his career.
“Bunch of hipster-cafe-go’ers taking up all the parking spaces.”
-An annoyed Gerry Vaughan who was forced to park on the street
“It’s sorta like the Survivor tournament. He’s so super competitive. It would kill him to lose to me. So I really just have to play and let him implode.”
-Gerry Vaughan prior to his first career match against Walter Vargas. Vaughan would go on to win 3and1.
“He wants to get home to his wife.”
-P-Jay Fidler after Armen Grigorian dropped his 2nd straight hole to go 2-down against Doug Vargas.
“Look, let’s be real. I mean, if you were following the match, I got out of there with my life. A lot of those holes were very close.”
-Gerry Vaughan on his win over Walter Vargas
“If I can get past Gerry, the ‘Iceman’, I think I can handle P-Jay or Clint pretty well.”
-Doug Vargas prior to his semi-final match against Gerry Vaughan
“It’s kinda creepy and weird.”
-Doug Vargas, facing Gerry Vaughan in the semi-finals, on Vaughan’s lack of emotions.
“The top 3 are gone. Walter’s gone, Chris’s gone, and Armen’s gone, so it’s kind of like an open field for everybody. I think everybody’s going to have that sense of ‘I can do it’, because everybody gets to that point where they get up to Armen and just think, well, 2nd’s nice let’s go to lunch.”
-Clint Crump, heading into the Final Four, when asked if he was encouraged by the fact that Armen Grigorian was eliminated.
“Mr. Final Four Loser.”
-Gerry Vaughan, following his semi-final loss, after being called Mr. Final Four with his 5th straight appearance.
“You’re in the Final Four. You can’t make mistakes, and I made a mistake on pretty much every hole.”
-Gerry Vaughan, on his loss to Doug Vargas. Up until his loss, Vaughan had not dropped a single hole during the tournament.
“Shoulda known. He’s at home, all laying in bed, all married.”
-Clint Crump after learning Armen Grigorian did not drop off the trophy.
“I owe it to P-Jay to give him my best and I did.”
-Doug Vargas on going for the win with his putt on the final hole
“Wow. It’s all about Doug this year. Has this silenced Wally at all?”
-Eric Stolz on Doug’s 2nd win of the season
“It’s extremely gratifying to know that when someone thinks you’re less than, and you know you’re more than, you pull it out and prove to everyone that it’s just either a bad golf day or circumstances [that] kept me down. But I’m still the same guy, I’m still the same golfer.”
-Doug Vargas, seeded 9th (the lowest of his career), on his 2013 Match Play Invitational victory
Planning – albeit uncoordinated and plodding – began for the 2013 Players Championship…
“Planning this tournament makes me feel like a guy dying in an old western…..
I’m cold…………….cold and thirsty…………So, tired…………..tired and cold……………………………….Just hold me until I sleep…………………………..
-Planning Committee co-chairman Travois Gordón
“Congrats [on turning 40] Gerry. If you need Viagra I know a guy.”
-Rene Quiroz
“Maybe it’s when we can’t get The Players Championship together because a bunch of sissy ass old farts decide they can’t be bothered to go to Vegas anymore. Oh wait, I guess that’s THIS year! A few wedding rings, some mixed DNA, then poof, we’re all old. My how times change. I don’t know how Chris has done it up ’till now, but perhaps he should put a tutorial together for the youngsters. A wife, a bunch of kids, a remarkably high level of play, a dedication to the Tour…you should be an inspiration to us all, Sir.”
-Patrick Bird after Travois Gordón, on the heels of Gerry Vaughan turning 40, asked when the Tour becomes the MGM Grand Senior Tour.
“It all started when I found this monkey paw in a hut in Central America…
Then some chanting about a wife, a bunch of kids, a remarkably high level of play and dedication to the Tour. Then it’s kinda hazy… blah, blah, sell my soul, blah blah… something like that.” -Chris Moawad
“Fuck yeah! I’m glad you guys are making it happen. Go get ’em Frost.”
-Eric Stolz on news that the Tour, despite early indications to the contrary, was heading to Vegas for The Players Championship after all.
“Ladies, wash your box, looks like Frost is ready to par-tay.”
-Martin Witt, following John Frost’s confirmation to 2013 TPC in Las Vegas.
“Looks like I’ll only need to stay up HALF the night this time because we have a bunch of pussies [on our Tour].”
-John Frost reacting to the number of withdrawals
“Everybody just has to make sure that Frost doesn’t stay out all night boozing it up with strippers. It’s what gives him his super powers.”
-Eric Stolz
“Think of all the dough I’ll save not having to buy that case of Chapstick and penicillin.”
-Chris Moawad’s response to Walter Vargas telling Patrick Bird Moawad won’t be on the golf course to give him a blow job.
“Don’t undersell yourself, Chris. You’re a decent enough lookin’ guy. I doubt these guys will last long enough that you’ll need the Chapstick. The Penicillin is still probably not a bad idea though, seeing as how Witt is going and all.”
-Patrick Bird
“Ah the soothing, rhythmic sounds of nuts hitting an ass. Brings me back to the safe, innocence of my childhood. I’m gonna sleep like a baby. Wait, no I’m not. I’m bunking with Fid… Help! Stranger Danger!!!”
-Martin Witt on the room assignments
June…
Never underestimate the lure of Las Vegas. Despite a field of just half the Tour, The Players Championship made its way back to Las Vegas. The tournament was held 10 years to the day of the MGM Grand Tour’s very first tournament. Played on Angel Park’s Mountain course, it marked the first time in Tour history a tournament was contested on a regulation course (non-team format). Doug Vargas took top honors giving him his 2nd win in a row and 3rd of the season.
1. D. Vargas
2. Fidler
3. Frost
“It was nice to win it last year and all. However, this year with such a limited playing field to compete with, it just won’t be as much fun. I won’t get to taunt and spit at everyone like normal, not to mention the few players that will be there are total assholes. Except [Tim], of course.”
-Defending champion John Frost
“I’ll just have to wait and see how I’m feeling when I get there on Friday evening and how the booze is tasting at the time.”
-Defending champion John Frost on whether he planned on replicating his now legendary feats of 2012
“Let it be known that me not heading out with you was the biggest lock loss call of the decade. I hope you win the tournament and a shitload of cash on the tables to make me regret it even more.”
-Gerry Vaughan to Patrick Bird on his last minute withdrawal
“Doug is on fire! Did Frost freeze up?”
–Eric Stolz following the news that Doug Vargas had won.
“It was [an omen] when I saw him wearing the Lacoste shirt. I knew we were in trouble.”
-John Frost on Doug Vargas’s victory. Vargas had worn his Lacoste shirt when he won in Manhattan Beach.
“It was nice to play on a big course, one on one too. You know, you’re not depending on anyone else. If you screw up it’s [on] you. But it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day, because you know we’re all still here having fun. Actually we’re in Vegas golfing so you can’t beat that.”
– P-Jay Fidler
“It wasn’t easy man, and I personally hope it’s not a trend that’s growing because it’s not my forte.”
-Patrick Bird on the Tour’s first non-team tournament played on a regulation course
“Bird complaining about the handicaps was a perfect way to start the day.”
-Martin Witt
“It was great. I think the guys that made it out here all had a good time. It’s 10 years exactly from the very first tournament so it’s a big deal, and that’s why I tried to make it here even though it’s quite a busy time for us [at work]. I’m glad I made it.”
-Patrick Bird
“It was much smoother than having Travis here so I think it worked out well. Everyone was good except Bird started crying. And he ended up beating me.”
-Tournament chairman Walter Vargas
“I’m interested to hear the controversy that brews after the realization that Doug and P-Jay weren’t scoring properly. They probably have inflated scores. Sounds like it won’t make a difference as to who won, but it may make a difference as to who the 2nd and 3rd [finishers are]. I’m sure Frost has some questions about that.”
-Patrick Bird
“It [should have been] a lot closer because these guys didn’t count their scores right, based on their sort of vague [recollection] of how many times they cheated. They kind of just hurried up and glazed over that whole issue after it came out.”
-3rd place finisher John Frost on the final results, and revelations that there were scoring inconsistencies.
“You want my pickle? Not THAT pickle.”
-Walter Vargas to Marty Witt during the post-round dinner
“The best part about today was playing with this group of guys and not the [ones that didn’t show up] because they all kind of embarrassed us as a whole. So today, this is one for the good guys.”
-John Frost
The first half of the 2013 season concludes…