For the first time in history there was no Masters Qualifier, as there was no need for one. With 2 former champions out and 4 others unavailable, 5 remaining golfers fit neatly into 5 available spots as alternates.
“It’s so nice to finally be given the chance I deserve to beat down those haughty, self-entitled douche bags who get to play every year just because they had one lucky round on some random occasion. The tray will fit nicely between my Hooters Owl and Griffith Trophy.”
-Patrick Bird after being told he would be playing the Masters without a qualifying round.
July…
Clint Crump matched his 8-year old career best score at Scholl and emerged the winner from an unprecedented 3-man sudden death playoff with Walter Vargas and Ed Quiroz to capture his first Masters and 2nd major. Defending champion Walter Vargas shot a new personal best Masters score and carded a new tournament record for lowest back-9 score (33). Ed Quiroz, who played his 3rd sudden death playoff of the season, set a new tournament record for pars (10). Former 2-time champion Chris Moawad missed the Masters for the first time in his career.
1. Crump
T2. W. Vargas
T2. Quiroz
4. Witt
“Is that Frost in a creeper van?”
-Walter Vargas seeing John Frost pull up in his green mini-van dubbed “the green turtle”.
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Arriving golfers were greeted with news that Nik Freitas and 2-time champion Chris Moawad had withdrawn at the last minute…
“Ooo! Top 8!”
–Clint Crump
“Nik who?”
–John Mann
“That gives some of us that haven’t won it yet maybe a little bit better chance of having a victory. If they’re gonna be lame and not show up, what am I supposed to do about that.”
–Patrick Bird
“I think that’s great news. Those were probably the most important players here today. And then that other guy who’s won a lot of tournaments (Ed Quiroz), he’s destined to fall. Just like a stock price, the harder you go up, the faster you fall.”
–John Frost
“Chris isn’t here so maybe I have a chance.”
–Ed Quiroz
“Well this guy (motioning to Ed Quiroz) is still here.”
–Martin Witt
“Wow! I’m happy that I showed up. I think I’ve got a good chance of winning this damn thing now.”
-Doug Vargas
“This is it. This is the big time. Fuck those 2 clowns if they don’t want glory.”
-Martin Witt
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“I think that they pointed out I’m in Frost’s group and the pencils have erasers.”
-John Mann
“Yea, shitty lame hole to get a hole-in-one on.”
-Walter Vargas, following his birdie on 11, when reminded the hole was the same hole Chris Moawad made a hole-in-one on in 2014.
“I frankly thought it was unbelievable and was totally tactless. In terms of golf, it was disgusting. I couldn’t believe he was doing that. Unbelievable.”
–John Frost on Clint Crump’s questionable move to hurry up and finish the sudden death playoff hole while his competitors had yet to reach the green.
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“Beautiful day of mediocre golf.”
-John Mann
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September…
Postponed from its usual July slot due, sadly, to a lack of players the 10th edition of the Devil Ball Shootout took place in early September. Chris Moawad, without a win in nearly 18 months, returned to his winning ways by claiming his 2nd Devil Ball win in 3 years. He joined Armen Grigorian and Patrick Bird as the only 2-time Devil Ball winners.
1. Moawad
2. W. Vargas
3. Vaughan
“I’m top ten and I only played 1 tournament? That’s pathetic.”
-Walter Vargas on making the cut for Devil Ball.
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“I love the team play. It’s always so much fun. Then, when you go individual it’s every man for himself and I get a little more quiet because I don’t wanna give away my secrets. It’s fun. I hate carrying the team and then being so tired at the end and then P-Jay sneaks in to win [like 2011].”
-Walter Vargas
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“Fuckin’ Travis could literally fall out of his bed and land on the 9th green.”
-Martin Witt on Travis Gordon not playing Devil Ball.
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“Honestly, I almost forget what Travis looks like. He seemed to have won Player of the Year one year and then decided to take what he quote, unquote called a victory lap of not showing up for anything. And that victory lap has seemed to turn into 2 victory laps. So, I’m just assuming at this point, pretty much that he’s just retired, and maybe we’ll see him down the road when we do some sort of senior’s tour.”
-Patrick Bird on Travis Gordon not playing the Devil Ball despite living virtually next to the golf course.
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“Who’s gonna keep score on their team? I wanna know who’s to be held accountable.”
-Walter Vargas prior to the round, looking over at the team of Frost, Crump, Witt, and Quiroz.
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“This is becoming my favorite tournament. You can insult your own teammates and they don’t care. It’s all in jokes. You do that to Walter in a [different] tournament, he’d kill you.”
-John Frost
“2nd place is the first loser.”
-A dismissive Walter Vargas when told he had finished runner-up again in his only 2 tournaments of the season.
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Chris Moawad picked up his 2nd win in a row after winning his 4th Survivor title. Except for an aberration in 2010, Moawad has won the Survivor every other year since 2008. Armen Grigorian made it to the final hole for the first time in 10 years, while John Frost became this year’s “That Guy” after losing an unprecedented 1st hole quadruple playoff with Walter Vargas that ran nearly 30 minutes.
1. Moawad
2. Grigorian
3. Bird
“Armen blows him up with a $20 bill. He has been out a long time.”
-Chris Moawad after Armen Grigorian tried to pay the $4 green fee.
“You can tell by my dominance how much I really like this tournament. It really hurt to be out, it just broke my heart.”
-5-time champion Walter Vargas on missing the Survivor for the first time last year.
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“An illness for Chris Moawad.”
-John Frost when asked what it would take to finally win after having finished 2nd 3 times in the past 5 seasons.
“The field has been degraded so much this year that actually Pat Bird is in the top-3 [player rankings]. That’s a sad state of affairs.”
-John Frost
“Could have put everyone out of their misery by losing much sooner than a quintuple playoff.”
-Tim Joe’s response to John Frost who claimed his intention was to be the first man out so he could make it to his son’s baseball game.
“I feel like I’m gonna go to Amoeba and pick up some CD’s, so make the trip out here worth it.”
-Gerry Vaughan after becoming the 2nd man out.
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“Crap! I always secretly want Wally to win!”
-Doug Vargas upon learning his brother had just been eliminated.
“At least I lost to the champ himself. If I lost to Bird…?”
-Armen Grigorian after losing on the final hole.
“I’m shaking. That putt felt twice as long with the pressure.”
-Chris Moawad after sinking his winning putt.
“Those 2 might as well come here and play by themselves. I don’t know why the rest of us bother to show up.”
-Patrick Bird on Chris Moawad’s 4th Survivor win, upping the total to 9 between him and Walter Vargas in 11 editions.
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October…
Playing in his first Tour championship in 4 years, and just his 4th start in the past 2 seasons, Armen Grigorian completed the career slam in majors after winning the season-ending Tour Championship. Grigorian shot a new course record at Valencia and set a new front-9 record in the process. It was the 100th tournament for Chris Moawad, making him the second golfer to hit the century mark after Tim Joe, a remarkable feat considering he began his career 3 years after the Tour began. John Frost ended the year as the only golfer to play all 9 tournaments, and in its 14 year history, the Tour Championship suffered its worst attendance with just 7 attending the one tournament that, above all others, is meant to celebrate the Tour.
1. Grigorian
T2. Bird
T2. Moawad
4. Frost
“Look, shit happens. We all miss [tournaments]. 15 years is a long time. A lot of us were completely different people before. Now, you know, we have kids, we get married, some of us have wives that are bitchier than others. What can you do? But if there’s one tournament you should try to show up for, I think it’s this one.”
-Martin Witt
“I had to get on care.com yesterday and I got a stranger sitting in my home right now, watching my child just to make it out here. But you know what? I tried. I made it, they could’ve made it too.”
-Martin Witt on all the no shows.
“How will it finish?”
-Armen Grigorian after the announcement that Chris Moawad was making his 100th career start.
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“What is THIS?”
-Patrick Bird, upon seeing Vista Valencia’s island 17th hole for the first time.
“Part of me feels bad that I haven’t been around and these guys have been fighting it out.”
-Armen Grigorian on his victory despite missing 21 tournaments over the past 4 years.
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10 years after winning Rookie of the Year Chris Moawad won his record-extending 4th Player of the Year award. The honor was his 3rd in the last 5 years. Like 2013, Moawad entered the Tour Championship 2nd in the rankings only to snatch the #1 spot at the end. Making this latest prize even more special was that it came in the 100th tournament of his career. Moawad, a 2-time winner, finished in the top-3 in all but one tournament he played this season.
“Chris is really good, and today he stuck with it and I kinda lost my marbles a little bit. That’s the way it is. That’s golf for you.”
-Season-long points leader Ed Quiroz on losing Player of the Year.
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December…
A year after not qualifying, Armen Grigorian returned to Terranea to win his record-extending 6th Tournament of Champions, his 6 victories qualifying as the most in any tournament on the MGM Tour. Grigorian became the 2nd golfer (Ed Quiroz, 2015) to win the Tour Championship and Tournament of Champions in the same season.
1. Grigorian
2. Witt
T3. Moawad
T3. Crump
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“With no handicaps I feel like pretty much even on my best day there’s no chance of me playing that kind of golf [Armen, Chris, and Ed] have until the day I retire, make golf my second career, and they have some kind of physical handicap.”
-Patrick Bird on his first Tournament of Champions start in 8 years, and first at Terranea.
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“Never deny the trends.”
-5-time winner Armen Grigorian, prior to the tournament, being listed as a 6 to 5 favorite to win.
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2016 Birdie Club
Moawad (4) – Manhattan Beach Championship, Charly Classic, Tour Championship
Ed Quiroz (2) – Manhattan Beach Championship, Tour Championship
Walter Vargas (2) – Masters
Armen Grigorian (1) – Tour Championship
Birdie Pool Earnings: Moawad ($25.5), W. Vargas ($18), Quiroz ($20.5), Grigorian ($5)
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A Review and Salute to the Champions of 2016:
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Manhattan Beach Championship: Ed QUIROZ
Charly Classic: Martin WITT
Hooters: Patrick BIRD / Armen GRIGORIAN
Match Play Invitational: Ed QUIROZ
Griffith Observatory Championship: Patrick BIRD
The Masters: Clint CRUMP
Devil Ball Shootout: Chris MOAWAD
Survivor Challenge: Chris MOAWAD
Tour Championship: Armen GRIGORIAN
Tournament of Champions: Armen GRIGORIAN
Player of the Year: Chris MOAWAD
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QUOTE COUNT:
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Bird, 11
Marty, 10
Frost, 9
Walter, 9
Chris, 7
Armen, 7
Doug, 6
Ed, 6
Mann, 5
Gerry, 4
Nik, 3
Clint, 2
P-Jay, 2
Tim, 1
The MGM TOUR will return