June 26-July 1
Players were wowed by a nearly unrecognizable, renovated Monterey Park golf course. Patrick Bird won the Qualifier for the first time in his career, making the Masters cut for the first time in 5 years. Tour rookie Ed Quiroz tied for best gross.
“I don’t even know where I am.”
-Gerry Vaughan upon arriving at the newly renovated Monterey Park golf course.
“Why do they put it where I always hit it.”
-Clint Crump on the new bunker added to the downhill 3rd hole.
“Dick move.”
-Gerry Vaughan on the newly added bunker on the 3rd hole.
“This is a hard hole now…<pause> shoot.”
-P-Jay Fidler walking up to the newly renovated 6th (an undulating green with an added bunker)
“Buy one for each of them on me. I’ll pay you back. Don’t ask them. Just buy them and give it to them.”
-John Frost, his Masters hopes clinging by a thread, trying to sabotage the other Masters hopefuls by getting them drunk.
“You really want to play The Masters? [They] always schedule that on the hottest day of the year. It’s a miserable day.”
-Gerry Vaughan’s response to Patrick Bird who said he hoped to qualify.
July…
With his baby due at any moment, defending champion Armen Grigorian sat out this year’s Masters. After 11 seasons and nearly 100 tournaments the MGM Grand Tour finally had its first hole-in-one. Chris Moawad and his playing partners watched his shot on 11 land above the hole, spin back, and drop into the cup. It was Moawad’s first hole-in-one. Travois Gordón became just the 2nd golfer in Tour history to pull the Match Play-Masters double, winning his 2nd straight Major of the season and of his career. The win was also his 3rd of the year.
1. Gordón
2. R. Quiroz
3. Moawad
“Man amongst boys.”
-John Frost following Chris Moawad’s hole-in-one.
“I grew up in New Jersey. I know people.”
-Patrick Bird to Doug Vargas who asked who “ratted” him and Ed Quiroz out on their practice round for the Masters.
“I’m kinda like the Michael Jordon of golf. And I can play people like a puppet. When I think it’s time to win, I mean, it’s time to win.”
-John Frost explaining his view on the handicaps, and more specifically his.
“We’re only on the 3rd hole and Frost is already messing up the scorecards. Frost, tear up that scorecard! Stop writing shit down!”
-John Mann
“We’re waiting to see who almost killed the commissioner.”
-Chris Moawad before leaving for the 4th green. An errant shot (Ed Quiroz) brushed the commissioner’s ear.
“My dick grew shorter watching that.”
-John Mann on Chris Moawad’s putt for par on 8 that came up short.
“Whatever. I’m gonna have to talk to Walter.”
-Chris Moawad to the Commissioner who was trying to justify the handicaps with Rene Quiroz playing Moawad even through the first 8 holes.
“This is where we start losing balls.”
-John Mann as he walked up to the 13th tee, and the start of Devil’s Gulch.
“Me and my big dick.”
-Marty Witt on 15 when asked whose shot landed the green.
“I’m trying to give up now. I might just pee in my pants so I’ll just be humiliated. It’s around 9 or 10 that I kinda feel like the kid who pee’d his pants and has to spend the rest of the day at school in wet shorts.”
-John Mann when asked how he’ll approach his round given that, by his own admission, he plays better when he feels he’s out of contention and gives up.
“You’re a dick.”
-1st round leader Rene Quiroz to John Mann after Mann remarked, ‘All the pressure’s on you because you’re in the lead.’
“Yea, I need it to catch Rene.”
-Chris Moawad’s response to the comment of it being a terrific day at the Masters to have his hole-in-one.
“That’s just shocking to see him hit it straight. I’m used to seeing him lining up to hit it into the woods and then seeing it curve back around to the fairway.”
-Patrick Bird on Doug Vargas’s changed swing improvement
“I feel like it’s gotta put me in the upper echelon.”
-Travois Gordón on winning the Masters for his 3rd win in his last 4 tournaments, a run the likes of which are reserved for players like Chris Moawad or Armen Grigorian.
“He didn’t go home empty-handed. He’ll remember this day long after this has happened with that hole-in-one.”
-John Frost on whether Chris Moawad, after matching his career best Masters round, would feel upset with a 3rd place finish.
“I envisioned it but didn’t know that it was a reality or really in the realm of possibility. But yea, sleeping in bed late at night, sometimes I dream about this.”
-Travois Gordón on if he thought he’d ever win the Masters.
“[Commissioner], it’s time to start capping wins. Travis is hogging them all. Mr. selfish.”
-Chris Moawad
The 2014 Devil Ball Shootout marked the 100th MGM Tour Tournament…
Still waiting for his now overdue baby girl, defending champion Armen Grigorian sat out the Devil Ball Shootout. 2013 Player of the Year Chris Moawad, in the 80th start of his career, won the Devil Ball Shootout for the first time, leaving him Manhattan Beach and the Griffith Observatory Championship to complete the career slam.
1. Moawad
2. Witt
3. Crump
“If Armen can’t make it, I’ll show up and bring down whatever team you put me on.”
-Gerry Vaughan, confirming his participation as an alternate.
“I haven’t swung a club in months but I’ll STILL bring Travois back down to earth. You’re welcome in advance fellas….”
-Walter Vargas, confirming for the Devil Ball Shootout.
“He’s probably passed out with a hooker somewhere.”
-Rene Quiroz on no-show Ed Quiroz
“Well, I woke up this morning feeling good about it, felt refreshed, ready to play golf. But now that you mentioned it, I hate this format, I hate Walter, I hate Travis, I hate most of these guys we’re playing with. I don’t know this fuckin’ course.
I mean, this day sucks.”
-John Frost when told he hadn’t played DeBell before, had been absent from Devil Ball the past 2 years, and was reminded that this was his least favorite tournament.
“Golf is already the most stressful thing you can do, aside from robbing a bank.”
-John Mann on the Devil Ball format
“It’s not bad enough it’s DeBell, but it’s Debell AND Devil Ball.”
-Travois Gordón
Following Gerry Vaughan’s poor shot…
Mann: Ah, little yellow gopher running along the grass.
Vaughan: This coming from the guy who lost the devil ball on the first hole.
“Dude, fuckin’ Chris Moawad is, he’s ridiculous. It’s unbelievable. That guy’s crazy. You just can’t catch Moawad. He’s an Adonis.”
-Martin Witt on teammate and Devil Ball winner Chris Moawad
“Jeezus Christ. We could have used his swing. Whatever [we won anyway]. Good riddance.”
-Martin Witt on no-show teammate Ed Quiroz.
Mann wins the gizmo prize again at DeBell. So frustrated was he with his round, he played exclusively with a 5 iron the final 4 holes.
“Where’s the asterisk next to his title?? I don’t see it anywhere in the write up…”
-Walter Vargas following Chris Moawad’s victory and the ruling that allowed 1 extra drive for Moawad’s team to make up for Ed Quiroz’s no-show.
September…
Chris Moawad continued his trend of winning the Survivor in even numbered years (’08, ’12), winning this year’s event. A record 6th win for defending champion Walter Vargas wasn’t meant to be as he showed chinks in his armor early. Needing to win for a legitimate shot at Player of the Year, John Frost came up achingly short, finishing 2nd for the 3rd time in the last 4 years.
1. Moawad
2. Frost
3. W. Vargas
“You know, as we age, someone is going to fall down from a heart attack at the Survivor Challenge. Then you will have a homicide on your hands. Ever think about that?”
-Gerry Vaughan to the commissioner
“Two holes of drama. I once saw a movie with that name.”
-Armen Grigorian, on having not lasted past 2 holes the last 2 years.
“Travis DIDN’T have his baby this morning so I just figured he wasn’t man enough to come [today].”
-John Frost on Travois Gordón who sat out the Survivor.
“If you want to be known for having this course be your best course of all time, then that’s great. (laughs) But I think it’s almost hilarious that he thinks it’s something to be proud of. (laughing) It’s a joke really.”
-Doug Vargas on Walter Vargas’s dominance at the Survivor.
“Hitting off the ladies tee?”
-Chris Moawad after seeing Patrick Bird tee his ball up noticeably closer to the hole than the others.
“Call the doctor.”
-John Mann on Doug Vargas’s poor shot on 1. Vargas was making his return from knee surgery.
“I haven’t been playing good since [my] twins have been born.”
-P-Jay Fidler on being ‘that guy’, the first to be eliminated.
“Look at all those [guys in the playoff]. Pathetic.”
-John Frost watching the 4-man playoff on the 2nd hole.
“We had him Rene!!!”
-The field in unison following Rene Quiroz’s missed putt that would have eliminated defending and 5-time champion Walter Vargas.
“I ain’t missing this opportunity.”
-Patrick Bird sinking a long putt to put Walter Vargas in danger of elimination
“Maybe I’ll wait this out.”
-P-Jay Fidler, who was about to leave, after Nik Freitas’s poor t-shot left him in a precarious spot.
“It was pretty intense actually. I didn’t think I was going to be this nervous. I’m actually nervous having this interview.”
-Newcomer Nik Freitas following his Survivor and Tour debut
“I brought my 5-iron specifically for this hole.”
-Patrick Bird on the 7th hole, known for it’s overhanging tree branches.
“This course is awesome.”
-John Frost
“Sorority girls on the left, little kids on the right, how’s he supposed to concentrate?”
–Patrick Bird as Walter Vargas prepared to tee off.
“I’d rather [have] played Walter because he frankly was sucking it up the last few holes and I don’t look forward to playing Moawad because he’s money. Money Moawad.”
-John Frost on the final hole
“I shouldn’t be frolicking. I have kids that age.”
-Chris Moawad’s response to Patrick Bird’s insistence he take a winner’s photo with the UCLA sorority. Said Bird: “You’re the champ, you should be frolicking over there with those girls.”
“That was my nemesis hole. We weren’t supposed to play it.”
-Walter Vargas following his elimination. Originally left off, the 17th hole was brought back in after the course removed the 16th hole.
“I saw myself winning.”
-John Frost after finish runner-up for the 3rd time in the last 4 years.
“Hey, you can’t win ’em all, although I normally do.”
-5-time champion Walter Vargas following his elimination.
November…
Westchester welcomed the MGM Tour for the first time, hosting this year’s Tour Championship. The tournament was delayed a month after an unprecedented amount of withdrawals forced a reschedule. Making just his 3rd start in the season finale in 6 years, charter member Martin Witt won the first Major of his career. The victory ended a 28-tournament victory drought in non-Hooters tournaments.
1. Witt
T2. Bird
T2. Mann
4. Crump
“Why not. If I have a conflict I can always bail at the last second.”
-John Mann, confirming for the new date. Mann withdrew 24 hours before the original date.
“29. Wow, have we become bottom feeders? How times have changed… 10 Years ago who would have thought that John [Frost] has a lower handicap than us. The only good thing will be the onslaught of bitching from Bird and Walter. Way to kick the hornets nest…”
-Clint Crump to Tim Joe on their handicaps
“Well if Mr. Mom wants to stay home with his panties on, she can. That’s her prerogative.”
-John Frost’s response to Travois Gordón not taking part in the Tour Championship because of his newborn.
“<sighs>… we’ve all had babies, right?”
-Chris Moawad’s response to Travois Gordón not taking part in the Tour Championship because of his newborn.
“Shouldn’t be having baby’s.”
-P-Jay Fidler on news of Travois Gordón’s withdrawal.
“That would NEVER happen.”
-Tim Joe after Walter Vargas suggested that Travois Gordón was at Armen Grigorian’s house for a baby play date.
“It’s the one that says insert cock here.”
-Marty Witt after asking which cart was Walter Vargas’s.
“You dropped your birth control.”
-Walter Vargas after John Mann dropped a pill packet.
“He doesn’t want it today.”
-Walter Vargas following John Frost’s tee shot. Frost needed a victory or 2nd place to win Player of the Year. He would finish tied for 10th.
“Even if they paid me to do this, I wouldn’t do it.”
-A struggling Gerry Vaughan after the 4th hole. Vaughan would withdraw after 9 holes.
“He had that Vietnam vet 200-yard stare.”
-John Mann on Gerry Vaughan who, after struggling, withdrew halfway through the tournament.
“I used to like these. Not anymore.”
-P-Jay Fidler approaching the tee box of the course’s only par-5.
“The main thing that I noticed today that I haven’t, I don’t know if I’ve ever done, is consistently keep my eye on the ball and try to keep my head out of it, [and] try to mellow out.”
-Martin Witt, on winning the Tour Championship, his first Major.
“Always a bridesmaid… fuck Marty Witt.”
-John Mann on finishing 2nd, 1 stroke back of Martin Witt. The win would have given Mann his 3rd career Major.
“I don’t have anything in my chamber to rip on them with. If I had lost I would have had a thousand of them.”
-Martin Witt after being asked if he had any smack talk for John Mann and Patrick Bird whom he beat by 1 stroke.
Travois Gordón marked his 10th year on the MGM Tour with an extraordinary season that earned him Player of the Year. After winning his first Hooters Championship, Gordón became just the 2nd golfer in Tour history to pull the Match Play-Masters double. In winning the award he became only the 2nd golfer (Gerry Vaughan) in 7 years not named W. Vargas or Moawad to win the honor.
“[Chris and Frost] need to ask themselves if this is really the way they want to win it. If I had played the Charly I would have wrapped this up a long time ago.”
-Travois Gordón on sitting out the Tour Championship, risking his #1 ranking for Player of the Year.
December…
A season devoid of victories left defending champion Walter Vargas on the outside looking in for this year’s Tournament of Champions, while Armen Grigorian made a triumphant return from baby leave to claim his 5th Tournament of Champions trophy and 22nd career win. His winning score-41 was the highest of a winner in the history of the tournament.
1. Grigorian
2. Witt
T3. Frost
T3. Moawad
“I also drove by Walter Vargas’s house and I was like,
‘oh yea, he won’t be with us today.’”
-Marty Witt, on his drive to the Tournament of Champions
“Yup, that’s exactly what happened as I was making a wrong turn.”
-John Frost’s response to the comment that seeing the ocean on the drive in was probably when it kicked in that he was playing the Tournament of Champions.
“Thanks. I just said it was going to be a low pressure, stress-free day, just enjoying the views and the golf, and [Willy J Promotions] has to throw a stat in there that puts the edge on. Thanks a lot.”
-Chris Moawad when asked if he might root against Travois Gordón since another win by Gordón would challenge his 2008 season for the greatest by an MGM Tour golfer.
“That’s a big If. But sure I’ll invite that being part of the discussion.”
– Travois Gordón, when told if he were to win, his 4-win season would challenge Chris Moawad’s 2008 season for the greatest by an MGM Tour golfer.
“Glad to see Armen made it out today because he’s been kind of a ghost this season.”
-Chris Moawad
“You know I don’t mind when Marty takes forever if he’s playing good. But when he’s not, it’s annoying as fuck.”
-John Frost (Witt would shoot a Terranea career-best round to finish 2nd)
2014 Season Birdie Club
Chris Moawad (1+Hole-in-One) – Masters, Tour Championship
Clint Crump – Charly Invt’l
Tim Joe – The Masters
Travois Gordón – The Masters
Ed Quiroz – The Masters
Doug Vargas – Tour Championship
Birdie Pool earnings: Moawad ($33), D. Vargas ($12)
A Review and Salute to the Champions of 2014:
Manhattan Beach Championship: Doug VARGAS
Charly Invitational: John FROST
Hooters Championship: Armen GRIGORIAN/Travois GORDÓN
Match Play Invitational: Travois GORDÓN
Griffith Observatory Championship: John FROST
The Masters: Travois GORDÓN
Devil Ball Shootout: Chris MOAWAD
Survivor Challenge: Chris MOAWAD
Tour Championship: Martin WITT
Tournament of Champions: Armen GRIGORIAN
QUOTE COUNT:
Frost, 23
Chris, 16
Bird, 16
Mann, 15
Gerry, 14
Travis, 14
Walter, 12
Doug, 11
P-Jay, 9
Marty, 9
Clint, 5
Armen, 5
Rene, 3
Tim, 1
Ed, 1
Nik, 1
The MGM GRAND TOUR will return January 2015